You, Your Child and His Homework

Don’t expect your child to be enthusiastic about his homework; you weren’t either, when it was your turn. No child likes the idea of sitting down and doing class assignments at home, when he has had enough of them in school. It’s not surprising then that many children put up some kind of a fuss - ranging from gentle grumbling, to outright refusal.

The problem is that you, and the teachers, can see some long-term benefit to studying. To the child it just seems to be a pointless hassle that is keeping him away from doing something fun. Not only that, if the child finds the work hard, and/or is used to getting poor grades for his work, the whole exercise becomes even more demoralizing and discouraging. Given all that, what child in his right mind WOULD want to do their homework?

So, you will have to do some homework on your part before you can get your child to do the classwork at home. You need to present it in such an interesting manner that it transforms the child’s way of thinking and outbalances all the negatives. However, don’t expect your child to be enthusiastic about it, but at least bring him to a point when he accepts the necessary evil and thinks it is better to get it done and be finished with it than to go on lingering on the unsavory prospect of it.

Here are some suggestions to make homework slightly more interesting:

1. Don't fight with your child; it doesn’t help at all, but can make matters worse. Think of innovative ways of getting it done. For instance, you can modify your home environment and routines in such a manner that encourage good study habits. Always think positive, and give more rewards than punishments.

2. If your child finds it difficult to complete the daily assignments given, check with the school about how much homework is expected and how long it should take. In case of genuine difficulty, consult the teacher and follow the instructions. As a rule your child should not be spending more than an hour on homework. More than that would be drudgery and difficult to do after a full day at school.

3. If you can create a place that is conducive to working, it will help to make a routine. In any case, it is not easy to get homework done if you have to do it on your lap while everyone else is watching TV. Ideally you should have a study table in the child’s room where he can sit comfortably and concentrate on his work. But, if that is not possible, you can clear a space on the kitchen table by removing all distractions and interruptions.

4. Your child may need your help and support. As long as you don't start doing it for them, you must help him to get started. Sometimes, the child gets stuck because he hasn’t understood what he is required to do. Explain that to him, but encourage him to find the answers himself in books or on the internet. You can help with spelling questions or work through the problem in math. However you help, stay calm! Don’t expect unreasonable standards. It will only lead to frustration.

5. Be generous in appreciating every single achievement no matter how small it is. First focus on getting the homework done, then start to focus on quality. Let that be the teacher’s responsibility; you remain confined to the homework only. Your efforts should be directed towards inculcating diligence and persistence. However, you can ask your child to read his work out loud so as to catch obvious mistakes and correct them.

6. If necessary, set up a reward chart that explicitly rewards homework completion by means of extra privileges, such as TV, or family treats or activities. Again, focus first on rewarding the regular completion of work. Later on you can reward higher grades. Setting up a regular schedule is often helpful.

7. All children are not good at all subjects. Your child may have a problem with a particular subject. Then, you need to talk to the teacher concerned and work in tandem with her. Let the teacher tell you how much of your help is required and provide it. Once your child crosses the hurdle, it will turn into a successful experience for him.

8. For long-term projects, help your child to break it down into do-able chunks for which you can set realistic goals and deadlines. Teach your child how to organize and plan ahead so that things are not left until the last minute.

9. Investigate whether the school has a homework club. Many schools provide a facility for children to stay on after the end of the day to complete their homework in a supervised setting. Often children find it easier to do that, than to try to fit in their homework at home around other family members, TV, meals and all the other distractions.

10. Above all, focus on helping your child to experience success. Failure breeds discouragement which leads to giving up. Success, on the other hand, is motivating and encourages more attempts. Do whatever you can to make the homework experience a success - either in itself, or by means of the rewards that it earns.

Dr. Noel Swanson is a child psychiatrist who specializes in child behavior problems. He writes for a fascinating website with lots of parenting tips that is well worth a visit, as well as his must-read book, The GOOD CHILD Guide.
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